Greetings Shirleyphiles and welcome to another 40 minutes or so of low-fi lovliness!
“Ain’t there one damn song, that can make me break down and cry?” exclaimed David Bowie in ‘Young Americans’.
Well there are a whole bunch that can make me do that, but don’t be fooled by the title. This show is not a collection of maudlin, morose tearjerkers but more a snotty hanky full of tunes which take as their theme that sacred act of crying and the associated rivers of salt that pour down our song stylists’ faces and out of their noses. Now before you go running for the Kleenex and the key to the liquor cabinet, I must tell you that this is strictly an Eric Clapton-free zone! Oh yes it is. No ‘Tears from Heaven’ fingers down my throat nonsense here!
Oh no! The manservant and I can get into a mutual sob-sister act at the drop of a Gladys Knight and The Pips, but my brief to mr.K for knob twiddling this time around was to steer well clear of turning you devoted Shirleyphiles into a blither blather of heaving sooks. I know how much time many of you spend on the application of eyeliner, lippy and such and I did not want to turn you into an audience of sad raccoons!
Lawdy clawdy, you can even dance your heartaches away while listening to some of this show! Now that is the way to do it! Maintain that air of cool detachment while your world is falling apart, your top lip is quivering and dance on! Yes, radioShirl girls and radioShirl boys, throw those arms up in a Diana Ross diva-esque stylee! By the way, I’ve been teaching mr.K that move and he’s just loving throwing it in mid-conversation with absolutely everybody we meet. Mind you, it took the counter staff at our local Chinese take-away rather by surprise last night while he was ordering our dinner. “Beef in Black arms up/face to the follow spot! Bean Sauce, please!” Happy face, tears of a clown and all that jazz!
That said, how can you possibly escape the high drama of such emotion when you have such a cry baby and our poster boy of the month like the gorgeous Johnnie Ray in the mix? You just can’t. You need to let the young man, off his noggin as he is, sing sorrowfully about little white clouds that cry and get it out of his system.
Until, next time, take care and play fair!
*be smooched*
radioShirl and mr. Kenneth
